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Phoebe, 20, WI, UWStout, yeah.


Healing

You guys… 

About two weeks ago, I experienced my first real heart break with my first real relationship. I’m not going to explain why we broke up and why we decided to end it. But I will tell you that it didn’t end well. We both don’t talk to each other now. Why? I don’t know. I always thought that even if we didn’t work that we would at least stay friends, but no. But I’m not mad. I’m not mad at him or myself or that it didn’t work. I am happy, not that it ended but I am happy that we happened. My wise friend told me that, it’s not that it wasn’t meant to be, it was just not meant to last forever. and yes, he’s right. We happened for a reason, but we were not meant to be each other’s last. We both taught each other something, and that’s something I would never forget. For being my first everything, I learned that when people say “Learn to love yourself first,” it’s true. You have to learn to love your flaws and imperfections so that someone can love them as well. But I also learned that sometimes, all it takes is the right person to teach you how to love yourself and all your flaws and imperfections. He taught me how to fully love myself, and I can’t thank him enough. When we first broke up, I couldn’t and wouldn’t let go. Does that seem pathetic? YES. Do I regret it? NO. When you’re in love, you would keep going and keep trying to make it work. And I was trying so hard to the point that I seemed like I was harassing him. But after a week after breaking up, I messaged him. NOTHING. Does that make him a bad person for avoiding me? no. But that was when I hit my lowest. I realized that I didn’t need to be like this. I didn’t need to hold on anymore. I didn’t need to feel this way anymore. So, I picked myself up, dusted off dirt and went on my merry way. It was hard, a very difficult task to do, but I had too. not for him, not for anyone, but for me. During this dark time, I found something that even his love for me couldn’t replace. That was the love of family and friends. They were my light to get out of that darkness. There were so many, many great people to lend a hand and pull me up. My parents, for always loving me, and not telling me they were right about him. My sister for crying with me because she knew how I felt. And for being my biggest and bestest support system ever. My friends who called and listened to me cry for hours on end. and my friends who took time in their day to make me smile and listen to my heart break. 

At a point in those two weeks, I felt numb. There was so much pain that I felt nothing. I talked to many many guys to boost my confidence, I didn’t sleep with none though. While talking to them, I felt nothing. I broke hearts left and right because I could. Because that’s what I felt. Was it right? Never. But I did it. So people felt what I felt. I rejected everyone and everything just because I wasn’t ready for nothing. I lead guys on because I could. I just couldn’t feel anything anymore. 

But wait, I stopped. I figured out what I wanted. And that, was certainly not it. I knew what I wanted, so I went out to look for it. Again, talking with many many guys but still, I knew what I wanted. And that was TIME. 

Time to heal, time to get over him, time to stop remembering, time to stop crying, time to focus on me. I only need me right now. I only need the love around me right now. I only need to love myself right now. I only need to heal and move on. 

It’s incredibly hard to pick up shattered pieces, especially pieces that are so small. But let me tell you, you can pick it up as much as you want but whatever broke will be fixed again. You might pick it up and get cut even deeper, but with every cut and every piece you pick up, you learn the strength that you have. It tests the strength you have. And you will learn that you are STRONG. 

So, my advice is heal. Time will heal. It will take months and maybe, even years. But just know that you will heal and feel something again. 

that’s it, I guess

Signing off,

Phoebe Yang

— 1 day ago
#heal  #heartbreak  #love  #movingon  #strength 

i-really-doughnut-like-you:

ruinedchildhood:

Remember the time Squidward thought Sponge Bob was coming out.

I NEVER UNDERSTOOD THIS as a child and oh my god

(via puertoricanrose)

— 1 week ago with 503100 notes
Socialism:You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbor.
Communism:You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.
Fascism:You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.
Nazism:You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and shoots you.
Bureaucratism:You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away..
Traditional Capitalism:You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
An American Corporation:You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.
A French Corporation:You have 2 cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
Japanese Corporation:You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them Worldwide.
An Italian Corporation:You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
A Swiss Corporation:You have 5000 cows. None of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
Chinese Corporation:You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
An Iraqi Corporation:Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No one believes you and they bomb your arse. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.......
Counter Culture:'Wow, dig it, like there's these 2 cows, man, grazing in the hemp field. You gotta have some of this milk!'
Surrealism:You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
Apathyologism:You have 2 cows. You do not care.
Fatalist:You have 2 doomed cows...
Atheism:You have 2 cows. There is no God.
A West-Country Corporation:You have 2 cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.
A Brazilian Corporation:You have 2 cows. You pay taxes for 6 cows. You have to sell one cow in order to pay the taxes. Your remaining cow gets sick and dies while waiting for availability in the public vet hospital.
Russia:You have two cows. Since they are both female, if you happen to keep them in the same stable you will pay a 5,000 rouble fine for homosexual propaganda.
PETA:You have two cows. You kill them both. You then use naked women to convince other people that killing cows is wrong.
Moffat:You have two cows. Both of them are your daughters time traveling from the past where they had a brief love affair with Da Vinci making you the rightful Queen of England. As you assume the throne, you throw them off a building.
Hussie:You have 2 cows. You ask for another one. Instead of getting just 1 cow, you get 2,485,506 cows.
Romney:You have 2 cows. You are not the president of the united states.
Once-ler:You have 1 cow. Everyone decides to make 5 different versions of that cow.
Old Spice:You have 2 cows. The cows are now diamonds. I'm on a horse.
An Irish Corporation:You have a million cows because they're everywhere
Tumblr:You have 2 cows. You ship them together and make GIF posts screaming about how much you love your cows, but they should stop existing because they are so perfect.
Also Tumblr:I give you a hamburger.
Night Vale:You do NOT have two cows. Cows do not exist. What's a cow? Show me a cow! That's not a cow! Who let you in here?
Tom Hiddleston:You have two cows. You are very sorry for them.
Thranduil:You do not have two cows, you have an elk. Riding on two cows is not majestic. Also the dwarves are on fire.
Dwarves:You had two cows but now they're on fire.
Bilbo Baggins:You did not invite those two cows for dinner.
Cows:The shit you go through.
This post:Started off as a post that explained different goverments but then everything changed when the fire nation attacked
— 1 week ago with 664259 notes

insanelygaming:

Japanese Cafe Pikachu Dishes

via Kotaku

(via ablogforblogging)

— 2 weeks ago with 5085 notes

lol, whaat the heck? 

(Source: babochanbear, via itsallabout2pm)

— 3 weeks ago with 163 notes

hell-ogoodbye:

seunghyun rudely cutely playing with his kitten lips ヽ(*≧ω≦)ノ

(via gdragonswag)

— 3 weeks ago with 1709 notes
wan3hearts:

shineehappypandas:

another reaction gif for y’all

♥️♥️♥️

When I see someone fall and try not to laugh. lol 

wan3hearts:

shineehappypandas:

another reaction gif for y’all

♥️♥️♥️

When I see someone fall and try not to laugh. lol 

(via itsallabout2pm)

— 3 weeks ago with 82 notes